For my adventure, I decided to spend 4 weeks exploring Europe by train. It was an internally transformative journey.

In my initial LEAP application, I pointed out that I felt I knew ‘too little of the world’. My worldview was narrow, my routines repetitive, my circle small. This was down to nothing but fear. Fear of having my views of the world challenged or belittled. Fear of not seeing a change when I did try something new. Fear of meeting people and them not taking to me immediately. At the root of this all was an obsession with the preservation of the self: if I never stepped out of what I knew, I would never be hurt, disappointed or rejected. When discussing this adventure with Andy Halley, he pointed out to me that such an attitude had kept myself in a box and I had found every excuse in the world to remain in it. We concluded that this adventure was going to be an exercise in slowly dismantling the box I lived in by introducing vulnerability. This goal translated well into the goals of the LEAP programme, which is to help students find make informed career choices by finding out what sparks passion and drive.

So that is what I set out to do!

In the space of three weeks, I travelled from London to Munich in Germany through Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Berlin, Stuttgart and Zurich. 7 cities in 21 days, all by train. I stayed at least 2 nights in each city (some 3)!

In Paris, I travelled to my host family who lived in Nanterre, a town populated by students (quite like Cambridge!). Getting there was a palaver – many a delayed train – and the final train I needed to take was delayed for over 1/2 hour. In the end, it was at a completely different platform, which I only discovered because a kind, outgoing French woman had struck up a conversation with me after seeing my huge hiking backpack. It was she who told me – through a strong French accent – “Can you run with that backpack? We have to go!” – and I hightailed it through the French underground to catch my train. Without her I truly would have been stranded – I speak 0.0001% French – and her kindness was a comforting start to the trip.

I mustered up the confidence to ask her if she was open to joining me as I wandered through Paris the next day. She wasn’t available (babysitting duties!) but I did then ask her for a picture so I could remember her!

I finally made it to my host family, meeting them at a bible study in Nanterre-Ville. It was spoken in French with translation. I met many interesting and lovely people, and even booked a boba-date for the next day…

Where I shared a room with another traveller (of sorts). She told me her story and I was humbled by the tumultuous life she had lived as a Chinese immigrant in France. We became close friends, despite a 20-year age gap, and I still text her to this day. She even postponed her next stop to stay one more night with me in our shared room! I was so touched that she would want to spend more time in my company – this was definitely a confidence boost that maybe I am someone who people can enjoy spending time with.

I did the sightseeing of Paris the next day, but the fond memories of Paris are the conversations I had and the friends I made.

From Paris, I travelled to Brussels and stayed two nights in a hostel (18th-20th June). This was definitely the most character-building part of my journey. I knew no one in the city and walked for hours trying to find a place to stay. The hostel I ended up turned out to be a 5-minute walk from the station I arrived in – a fact I bitterly learnt after hours of trekking in the heat.

Brussels is famous for their fries but I ended up falling in love with their waffles instead. I will partake in walking tours of historical sights, but I will mostly be hear to sample the cuisine and wander around museums.

My favourite part of Brussels was making friends with two very special girls in my hostel. We became fast friends and did loads of activities together.

My next stop was Amsterdam, where I stayed for 3 nights with a lovely host family. We went swimming – in open water, but man-made – and did a lot of biking. We had a lovely barbecue with another family and a game of football. The next day, I went on a tour of Amsterdam and tried the most beautiful stroopwafel and less beautiful Brussel chips… with peanut butter sauce. My most enjoyable time was actually joining a football training session with the girls. I was so impressed with the quality of their team and their facilities – I so badly wanted to join them on the pitch! I practiced communication by making conversation with the parent-coaches and learned a lot about coaching girls in sport.

I then travelled to Berlin, where I was supposed to stay with a host family. However, the kids got ill, but they were able to match me with a group of university-aged girls who lived in together in a large house in the suburbs. This was a well needed solo part of my trip, where I took time out to visit the Memorial of the Berlin Wall and other historical sights (Holocaust Memorial, Berlin Cathedral) to do with WW2.

After Berlin, I took the train to Stuttgart where I stayed with another host family/couple. This was a more slow, restful stop just to recuperate and chill out. I took part in outdoor exercise class and cycled 14km (crazy) to an outdoor swimming pool which was a highlight. I also joined a bible study meeting of university students, which was a wholesome time – and the pizza was delicious.

From Stuttgart, I then travelled to Zurich and stayed with another couple who were actually expecting a baby any day – they were very kind to let me stay with them. The first night I arrived, we went walking around Zurich and it was absolutely beautiful. I spent a day in the centre of town, taking a river tour, reading next to Lake Zurich and enjoying nature, while also just seeing some general historical sites. The next day was swimming in an open, natural lake on a really hot day – I felt so brave venturing out and pushing through the fear of drowning…

I was planning to go to Italy after Zurich, but hadn’t arranged any host families. After having such a great time with so many host families, I decided that I wasn’t really up to staying in loads of hostels, and redirected my journey to Munich after being recommended a host by my Stuttgart family. This turned out to be a divinely inspired decision, as this was arguably my favourite city!

I was there for 5 days. I joined a student bible study which was probably the largest out of three I joined throughout my whole trip, with the largest number of students. I actually met up with a girl who my family had hosted 6 years ago – she was so shocked when I popped up! She kindly invited me to hang out with her on a Saturday to go swimming in a fast moving river after a traditional Bavarian breakfast (which was sumptuous – and washed down with a beer at 10am in the morning…). I truly felt free and free of stress for the first time in a long time.

I took a day to visit a beautiful palace and gardens called Nymphenburg. It was a refreshing time, with beautiful walks. I listened to an audio tour with history about Munich while taking in the scenes.

I had planned to stay on my trip longer, but at this point felt absolutely exhausted. Fortunately, I had enough to book an “emergency” flight home. I had started to struggle quite a bit with my mental health and wasn’t sure I could push through another week of travelling on my own. I did not want to end the trip on a negative and was happy that I could recognise my limits.

My hope was that as I travelled by train through Europe – on my own – I would show up for myself, and I feel I fully satisfied this aim. I learned discipline and resourcefulness by finding trains to catch, to the right places and at the right time. I had to speak to people on my own if I needed help – no one was there to do it or me. I carried my own massive backpack and ensured that I keep an eye on my things. But I did what I set out to do – prove to myself that despite what my mind tells me, I can. Through this trip, I slowly but surely stepped out of my routine life, and opened myself to new places, things and people. I would never have had this opportunity without the LEAP programme – I would still be living lonely in my box. Thanks to LEAP, I know now that the life that I want is on the other side of fear.